


Game On

by runningwithdinosaurs



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire, Derek is a Failwolf, Fluff, Game Shows, Getting Together, Humor, It's not too bad, M/M, Public Humiliation, Stiles Stilinski is an Ideal Game Show Host
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 11:24:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1856293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningwithdinosaurs/pseuds/runningwithdinosaurs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek Hale is never listening to either of his sisters ever again. He listened to them once and he ended up on the ridiculousness that is Sibling Squabble. He WON'T listen to their unsubtle hints about the silly game show's host.</p><p>Even if Stiles Stilinski is possibly the most attractive person to ever stand in his personal bubble. </p><p>“Hey there,” the host said, wiggling his eyebrows, “What do you like to do for fun, Derek?”</p><p>Derek just bit back the “you” before he could embarrass himself, his family and his future progeny on national television.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Game On

**Author's Note:**

> Another prompt! This time for the line, "Can we pretend I didn't just say that?"
> 
> Mwahaha. I may have gone overboard...

“Welcome…to…SIBLING SQUABBLE!”

The host of the show dashed out from behind the lurid purple curtain and beamed at the audience. “I’m your host, Stiles Stilinski, and THIS…IS…WAR!” He pumped the fist clutching his cue cards in the air and then practically moonwalked back to his podium. “Our first Toss-Up Category is… _What is the most annoying thing your sibling does_?”

Derek smashed his hand down on the big red button in front of him, but Laura was faster. “Comes into my room without knocking!” she yelled.

“Our siblings say…!” Stiles paused dramatically, “Entering room without knocking! Congrats Team Hale! You’re on top early!”

Derek high-fived Laura and Cora, who he was standing between. The host walked over and motioned toward Laura. “Let’s meet our first team of siblings! Here we have Laura, Derek and Cora Hale, who _hail—_ excuse the pun—from Beacon Hills, California. Which is,” he winked at Laura, “where I’m from, originally. What do you do, Laura?”

“I’m a deputy with the Beacon Hills Sheriff’s Department!” Laura answered promptly.

Stiles, whose face hadn’t relaxed since he walked on stage, blinked at her. “Oh, wow, it says ‘cop’ here, but if you work for the BHSD…” he trailed off and smirked. “How’s Sheriff Stilinski doing?”

Laura appeared confused for a moment and then grinned, “But that means you’re Stanis-“

“I’m gonna stop you right there!” Stiles said loudly in a fake jovial tone. “No one here needs their ears to bleed! Moving on to the next Hale sibling…Derek.”

Derek met the host’s eyes and felt his breath catch. Stiles’s eyes were dancing, the soft brown glinting with mischief and excitement. Stiles paused for a moment, studying Derek. With his upturned nose and high cheekbones, he was cute. But then his face changed briefly, became more sincere. With only a small smile tugging at his lips, not the TV-wide grin he was apparently expected to sport nonstop, Derek realized that the host was possibly the most attractive person to ever stand in his personal bubble.

Because, oh lord, Stiles was _in his personal bubble_. “Hey there,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows, “What do you like to do for fun, Derek?”

Derek just bit back the “ _you”_ before he could embarrass himself, his family and his future progeny on national television.  “Read.”

“Hopefully the books you read are more verbose than you are!” Stiles joked, licking his lips. He sauntered past Derek and stopped in front of Cora. “Hey, Cora,” he winked. “Long time no see! Where are you going to college and what are you studying?”

As Derek wrapped his head around the fact that his little sister apparently knew Stiles (if the way she rolled her eyes and muttered “ _Stiles…_ ” was any indication), the other team was getting agitated.

“Hey!” the big buff blond surfer dude (an oxymoron if there ever was one) shouted. “If he knows one of the teams, they have an unfair advantage! I want a new match-up!”

Stiles pulled himself away from the Hales and hurried over to the other team, waving at the audience all the while.  “No worries, folks! I am not biased! Plus, most of that will surely be edited out later!”

He quickly engaged big, blonde and bumbling in a mini-interview. Derek turned to Cora. “How do-“

“He was two years ahead of me in school,” she grinned. “He’s completely insane.”

“So just Derek’s type then?” Laura butted in, smirking.

“Too soon!” Derek hissed. Have one crazy ex-girlfriend who tries to burn down your family’s house (but who was too ditzy to figure out accelerants, etc.), prompting your sister to pursue a career in law enforcement, and you’re branded forever. Geez.

“All right!” Stiles enthused, skipping onto the center of the game show set. “It’s time to play a completely bi-partisan edition of… _SIBLING SQUABBLE!_ ”

Derek forced himself to concentrate as the _Family Feud_ rip-off started in earnest.

Since Laura won the toss-up, she went first. She easily beat her opponent, the other team’s lone girl, in the _Face-Off_ round. Cora didn’t fare so well in her solo round: she kept thinking too much and giving answers far better than the show’s surveyed siblings. Derek won the next lightening round— _things that go bump in the night!—_ with “werewolves.”

Through it all, Stiles orchestrated everything like it was fine opera and not a silly game show on network television. He looked tangled up and crazy, limbs spilling and jerking everywhere, but Derek could see the sharp look in his eyes, how he kept close tabs on everything happening around him and could read just when to move on to keep the audience interested. He was in charge and in control.

And Derek was _in trouble._

Laura and Cora just managed to edge out the two blond brothers in the final round, _Battle of the Sibling Sexes_ (which sounded so wrong, c’mon, who came up with these things?), so it was Team Hale going into the bonus round.

Their opponents slunk off stage, still muttering about favoritism, and Stiles tutted. “No one likes sore losers!” he called after them. He schooled his features and turned to face the audience. “Now, let’s see how Derek Hale fares in our bonus round: _The Revenge of the Middle Child_!”

The audience went wild. Derek went pale. “Who, me? I have to do it?”

“Sorry, dude,” Stiles smirked at him, not looking even a little bit remorseful. “You are our middle child! Follow me!”

Derek took a deep breath and trailed after Stiles to the middle of the set, resolutely _not_ looking at his ass as they went.

“Ok, Derek,” Stiles gave him a friendly, calming smile. “Here’s how it works. I give you a category, you tell me how a typical middle child would answer—we only polled middles for this! Match up in more than five categories in thirty seconds and you and your siblings each win a new car!”

The purple curtain whipped to either side, showing off three Camaros—one yellow, one red and one black. Derek’s mouth watered a little.

“Are you ready?” Stiles asked.

Derek nodded.

Thirty seconds went on the giant clock behind Stiles’s head. “Annnnnnnd…here we go!“ The countdown started. “Your siblings are fighting. What do you do?”

“Break it up!”

_Ding._

“What can adults do that kids can’t?”

“Drink!”

_Ding._

“When is dinnertime?”

“…Six?”

 _Ding_.

“What do you always have with you?”

“My wallet.”

 _Ding_.

Derek was going to do it. He had seven seconds left. It was just word association. He was so close to that luscious car…

“What’s super hot right now?”

“Game show hosts!”

Derek didn’t even realize what he’d said until the audience gasped. He looked at Stiles, who was gaping at him, and the time on the clock ran to zero. A foghorn noise echoed in the quiet studio.

“I’m….uhh,” Stiles blinked at him. “I’m sorry, Derek. Our surveyed siblings did not answer… _game show hosts_ ,” he choked a little bit, eyes wide, “in that category. I don’t think anyone has, ever,” he added in an undertone.

“Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?” Derek whispered, face turning red and just absolutely _mortified_.

Stiles held his gaze a second longer and then turned to the crowd. “Unfortunately, the Hales won’t be getting those fabulous Camaros. But we had fun and _learned things along the way_ ,” he totally shot Derek a look, “So, next time your sibling gets on your nerves, come settle it on…SIBLING SQUABBLE! Good night, America!”

Stiles turned back to Derek and pulled his clip mic off.

Derek winced. “Stiles, I’m-“

“We have two more shows to shoot today,” Stiles cut him off. “So we’ll have to be quick.” He grabbed Derek’s arm and started to drag him off the set. Derek gave a token struggle and looked back toward Laura and Cora. They were both grinning wide, giving him the thumbs up.

Derek couldn’t help but grin back.

He might’ve lost the game, but, hey, maybe he’d won the host instead.

***

(Derek ended up sticking around for the entire day of shooting, lurking in the wings until Stiles wrapped up another show and herded Derek to his dressing room for… _conversation_.

Then he herded Derek to dinner after shooting wrapped. And then back to his _really nice_ apartment after dinner. He asked Derek to stay the night.

And Derek just never left.)

**Author's Note:**

> I [tumble](http://runwiththisdinosaur.tumblr.com/). I also think I'm pretty funny.


End file.
